I made a vlog two days ago – with terrible editing since my mum’s computer can’t handle even Movie Maker for long, but that isn’t the point. My point is about the content. No, not what I talked about in the video, I’m referring to the fact that I wrote myself a script and read from it. Repeatedly, until I got it right.

In old vlogs, on the channel-that-must-not-be-named, I didn’t do that. A couple times I wrote down what I generally wanted to talk about or what I wanted to say, but I didn’t take it seriously and I didn’t start the whole section over when I messed up. I was relying far too heavily on editing, which was bad even with my own computer. The small change of treating it like acting made a huge difference in the quality.

When I just sit down (or stand, depending) and talk to the camera, I make little sense and it’s horribly awkward. Most times I would have to edit out well over half of each video that was all silences and “erm”s as I tried to think of what else to say. When I finally did speak, it was disjointed, random, or confusing. It was worse when I tried to be entertaining. I went back and looked at those videos last night and it was horrible. I couldn’t get through any full video before dissolving into a pile of cringing and self-judgment.

I made videos for around a year like that. You’d think I would have realised long before now that I can’t do that and expect anything good, but alas, it did take this long.

I don’t expect to ever do vlogging seriously like the YouTubers I watch, but it’s something fun I like to do for myself every once in a while. There’s really just for Future Liam to watch, though, at this point. Just like this blog. I just feel this strange need to compose my thoughts into writing – that is, this blog – or talking, but not to anyone. They just can’t stay in my head all the time.


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