Anxiety in the Workplace

I did something new today, which was a workshop at the employment centre downtown. It was to do with managing anxiety but it, ironically, caused me anxiety to participate. I went because I wanted to test out something I’m not comfortable with, and as a person with an anxiety disorder that’s not an easy task.

I hadn’t done anything like this recently, and even if I just consider all stressful ‘participation’ situations it still has been a long time since the last one, so I had actually forgotten how stressed out I get. Right from walking through the door, I was shaking. That didn’t go away at all throughout the actual workshop, and when I thought I was going to be forced to enact a situation of talking on the phone to an employer, I nearly had an anxiety attack. Luckily it was optional, but in a real job it would obviously not be optional, and I wasn’t able to do it.

So that brings me to the conclusion I came up with about all this: maybe I’m not ready to enter the workforce yet, and maybe I never will be. I don’t know about that second part, but I can tell that I have some big issues right now that are making a simple task into an impossibly insurmountable barrier. Perhaps I should just put my energy into my art and the steps to starting school next year, and see where that leads me. I do know that school is something I can not only handle, but that I absolutely enjoy, so there’s no doubt that I want to get back into that. I have to wait until spring to continue that, but it’s definitely in the works.

Maybe I’ll change my mind on this whole work thing, but this is where I’m at right now. This was a weirdly personal post, and I don’t know how I feel about that.

Also, in regards to my last post, I realised I don’t know how to make an hourly schedule so I didn’t actually do that.

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2 Replies to “Anxiety in the Workplace”

  1. To work or not to work…is that the question?
    Consider this, do you want to address your anxiety or just compensate it? You are young and inexperienced. It is much to soon to give up. Use your time wisely to grow stronger. Putting off dealing with your anxiety issues may not be the best choice. Do the workshop and look for methods to cope. Fail and try again. And again. And again. In doing so you will also have successes. Little moments of insight and progress. Repetition will teach you…and strengthen you.
    You see, Liam, it’s not about working a job…it’s about working life. Your anxiety may give you dark days of belly button gazing, and you will need the life skills to look up and see possibilities that your anxiety denies. You have to tell it that it’s not the boss. You need to learn how to work.
    At least…I think it could be beneficial 😉

    1. Hey, I’m not saying I’m giving up completely! I’m just going to try to reduce the pressure I’ve been putting on myself. Since I only have less than a year left before I move, I don’t want to be distracted and forget something important to do with college. I’m working on ways to cope with the anxiety, though, it’s a slow process 🙂

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