I have eight draft posts here on this blog not counting this one and I noticed a common theme they all have: in all eight I’m trying so hard to be thought-provoking and interesting. I can’t blame myself for trying to be interesting, this is for people to read, after all, but I’m struggling to write anything because of the pressure I’m putting on myself.
It feels like I need to be poignant and deliberate with everything I share.
So far I’ve set this post aside four times and I deleted most of what I wrote. I haven’t made many things recently, not even doodles or notes. The weather has become that very inspiring too-sunny-to-be-outside-but-too-nice-to-do-nothing kind of weather and I have yet to take advantage of it. I’ve watched lots of Netflix and played lots of The Sims, however, if that’s worth anything.
I feel like I have a commitment I’m not honouring with my internet things, like this blog or my DeviantArt gallery. I feel like I have to make things worthy of being shared with everyone who follows me. In reality I should make things for myself, particularly with my artwork, but I’m struggling with that. Simple doodles are a rare occurrence. It’s kind of bitter-funny that I only started struggling so much after I created a timetable to do art practice every day. Actually, that’s not fair. The break caused by having surgery did it.
In conclusion, I’m having troubles in the creativity department. It’s currently well after one in the morning, so I can’t work on it tonight, but I’ll do my best to do at least some doodling tomorrow.